if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
