you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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