We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
handjob tips. give me some.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
