that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
