I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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