i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize