Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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