Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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