So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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