i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
