It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I will pee on everything he values.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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