I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
