Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
