remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
