She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
