Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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