Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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