Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
