I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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