There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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