remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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