mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
