Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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