Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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