My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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