Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
