I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
