worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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