Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
