I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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