Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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