Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
