Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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