I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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