she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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