Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
