I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
