Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
