he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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