i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
