that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
