His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
