I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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