I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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