I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
