Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
