My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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