we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
