dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
