It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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