We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
