GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
