Your tits are I can't wait for
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
