obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
