How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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