Your tits are I can't wait for
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
