Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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