Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize