erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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