OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
