I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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