But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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