Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
