you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
