I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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