It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize