I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Houston, we have a squirter
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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