Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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