How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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