In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I want to make a zoo with you.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
