So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
